Spare Time

As an American accustomed to the hustle of everyday life, I have always thought that the entire world was living the same life as me and has done so for hundreds of years. A usual day for me consisted of stringent planning and careful organization to meet the deadlines of an infinite amount of homework, tests, projects and extracurricular activities. To me, a stressful work life was normal and had always been.

My hectic life was put to a full stop for the first time when the world quarantined. This meant that I was not occupied with an abundance of homework or extracurricular activities. “What do people do when they don’t have work to do?” I thought to myself, realizing that I was extremely unfamiliar with the concept of spare time. My grandmother had moved into my family’s home at the start of lockdown and I wondered what exactly a retired 70-year-old person does every day. I realized that I knew nothing about my grandmother and decided to sit down and learn more about her.

 At the dining table in our kitchen, I sat across from my grandmother and asked her how she occupies her time. She began by telling me how she loves to soak in the simple pleasures of life. She takes her time when she drinks her cups of chai with Parle G cookies. Often, she sits at her favorite spot on our chocolate couch and chats with Vipin Chachaji, her late husband’s brother, and Ashok Chachaji, her late husband’s other brother. On the phone, she can listen to each of them talk for hours. Occasionally, she ventures to our mandir and lights agarbatti incense to bless our home. She loves to cook and often tries new recipes she sees in our extended family's Whatsapp group chat named “Fam Jam”. I often ask her to cook me her special saag paneer with garlic naan, and she told me that if it were not for her own mother, she would not know this recipe.

 This conversation led me to ask about her unique childhood, and together we decided to play a card game called Seep. She told me that she would play this game with her siblings and countless number of cousins. All her family members lived within close proximity to each other and could play together. As she dealt the cards, I asked her to tell me some of her favorite stories from when she was my age, and I was suddenly transported to the year 1963 in Moga, Punjab. I saw life through my grandmother’s then 15-year-old eyes. She described to me how she was the cute youngest sister in a group of 3 siblings, and that she was always treated as a baby. When she woke up each morning, she never had to do any work because her older sister took care of her clothing, breakfast and lunch for school. In return, as the youngest child, my grandmother would make her family laugh.

She explained how the happiest moments of her life were in the form of playing games and acting naughty within her family for a laugh. My grandmother would often pull pranks on her family members, and as the youngest child, she would get away with her silliness. We continued with the game and I put down a Jack of diamonds. Together with my family, I learned about the simplicities of her childhood and felt nostalgic, despite having limited knowledge of the past. I learned so much about my grandmother, and in turn, a bit more about my own ancestry. 

Simran Dhupar

is a Letter-Writing Socials host for Love For Our Elders and a current high school student.