Being a single mother is a difficult job in any circumstance. Now, imagine being a single mother in rural India, where the odds are stacked against you in a patriarchal, rigid society. This is the situation my grandmother, Jayapradha Bandari, was faced with at the age of 30 when she lost my grandfather, Laxminarasaya Bandari. She had the daunting task to raise four children on her own. 

 In India, it was widely known that if a woman were to become widowed, she would usually return to her parents’ home. With this, the woman would have the option of taking her children with her or handing them over to her husband's family. She would then distance herself from the husband's family because she had no ties to them anymore.

However, my grandma defied the norm and chose to raise her four children on her own, refusing to abandon them. In fact, while raising four kids, she also grieved with my grandfather's family and supported them through his death. This earned her the respect of those around her, even those who might have thought that she would not be able to handle raising her children as a single parent. Even more so, she honored my grandfather’s wishes when it came to the future of their children. 

He always wanted his children to study abroad, be able to afford any education they pursued and to be financially secure. He was able to make this possible due to his hard work and passion until the day he passed. He worked hard to be able to provide his children food, shelter and clothing, but also to provide the financial resources to invest into his wife’s and his children's futures. This financial security provided the backbone of support my grandmother needed in order for her to face the future.

Of course, even though they were financially stable, it was nearly impossible to accept the reality that my grandfather was no more and she would be almost alone while raising her children. Despite the fact that she was devastated, she made sure to never show her pain to her kids and was able to be strong so that her kids could emulate her behavior. She set aside her grief in order to do what needed to be done: continue raising her children while realizing the hopes and dreams that my late grandfather had for his children’s success. 

Due to her tireless efforts and my grandfather’s financial cushion, the first two eldest sons—my uncles—landed successful jobs. One even had the opportunity to study abroad in New York. The younger two daughters—one of which was my mother—finished her master’s degree and the other obtained her bachelor’s degree. This meant that the children in my mother’s generation were the first in the family to earn college degrees, all thanks to my grandparents’ incredible devotion to their children. 

My grandmother’s perseverance through an event as difficult as losing her husband inspires me not only to overcome any obstacles that I may face, but also to support and love others the way she did, even when she felt like she had no more love to give. I am proud to call her my grandmother and being an ambassador of Love for the Elderly is a wonderful way to get involved with other seniors and showing them the love that my grandmother showed to others.  

This pandemic is a trying time for so many families who can’t see and support their elders which is why being able to spread that love and make sure they know and feel that they are loved and supported is truly a gift. Caring for those who once cared for us is a privilege that I am honored to have. No matter how trying a time might be, people will always be stronger.