Love For Our Elders

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Sugar

From my earliest childhood memories, my beloved mother Virginia Geneva Durant Blackshire was my entire world - my universe.  She was born in Mississippi and married my dad, Mack Cornelius Blackshire and had 5 children: 3 daughters, 2 sons.

My Mother was a Treasure!  My father called her Sugar!  And her children came out of the womb learning the word - Sugar.

Each Sunday morning, I would be awaken by sweet aromas swirling around the house.  Watching my mother prepare food was fascinating to me.  She was laser-beam focused.  I never asked questions, her demeanor informed me that this was not a good time to engage.  Recipes were not used.  Baking goods were entirely made from scratch.  My sisters and I talk frequently about the outcome of these amazing treats:  tea cookies, homemade ice cream, 3-tier jelly cakes, biscuits, and original banana pudding (In the 1960s, processed foods were not a household name.)

My siblings and I would be seated at the table, exchanging trivial banter, trying to keep our minds off of what was to come: a delicious homemade meal with dessert.  We would wait for the dessert bowl to empty and position ourselves to get a taste of the cake batter.  We lived for that moment.  Just one sampling, would transport us out of our chairs!

The family meals kept us close together and gave us an opportunity to connect on so many levels.  No subject was off-limited.  Well almost, for sure, teenage intimacy was not discussed in detail, only broadstrokes were provided.  We learned that my father was an extraordinary storyteller!  Siblings were comics, tattle-talers and possessed a gift of gab, like our father.

My mother's life revolved around cooking for her family.  She took it very seriously, no time for errors.  There were no ruined meals, smoke  clouding the kitchen.  I would always purposely observe her while she cooked.  She was a quiet mother.  She possessed an introspective personality.  She knew the economy of words, so when she gave chore instructions, we listened intently, to carry out the assigned task with success.

Her creative skills were varied, including haircare and hand sewing without a pattern.

Looking back, my mom was the best version of herself.  She exhibited excellent culinary skills!  There was not a measuring cup to be found.  Her method to preview her food creations was taste samplings.  She would taste and decide if it was to her liking.

My mother's dedication to her culinary skills, taught me a very valuable lesson.  She was without an ego.  Driven to perfection and a model mother, I declared loudly around the age of 8 that I, too, would  emulate her sweet potato pies, bringing a faint smile to her inscrutable face.

Everyday, I am so thankful for my mother.  And, now she lives in the spirit.  She is always by my side.  Each time I cook, which is daily, I prepare a lot of the food I grew up eating, even down to the ingredients. My mother's focus on food excellence taught me a valuable lesson:

Whatever your goals in life, perform them to the best of your abilities.  Her examples have allowed me to approach everything I do with dedication and purpose.  My mother never craved attention.  Cooking made her happy!  And her family made sure she was generously complimented after each amazing dinner course.   

Submitted by Kindness Ambassador H. Patricia Blackshire.