My aunties Pat and Rene were two of the adults that were a constant in my life—they were always at our house! Much to my dad’s irritation, Pat and Rene were painters and decorators by trade and always had work to do around the house. 

Whether it was re-painting a room, building a new fireplace or re-modelling the shed into an office, there was always an excuse to keep them around and we all seemed to prefer it that way! In fact, when my Grandma died, she left Pat and Reneher house to live in for the rest of their lives.That’s how close we all were. They were family, not related to me by blood, but by love. 

As a child, I didn’t understand that Pat and Rene were both women or the implications of that. I grew up with these two gentle, kind and loving ladies in my life, who accepted me as I was 100% of the time. Whilst Pat was the more traditionally old fashioned caregiver, Rene would accomodate my every whim and fantasy and let me be whoever I wanted to be. 

As a kid, I would sit in my room for hours and hours drawing. They always asked me to show them what I had drawn and begged me to recreate my work for their house, framing it and hanging it on the wall. When I look back on it, I realise that they truly understood the value of being yourself, and lived by the motto “live and let live.” 

Rene was a strong lady with a firm work ethic who was stubborn to a fault! She had various health problems, but a mind as sharp as a razor blade right until the final months.

Rene always stayed young at heart. She was always so funny, curious, positive and energetic—she insisted on me driving her to the pub for lunch and a cheeky half [a half-pint, in the UK]! Even when she wasn’t going out and was confined to her chair in the front room, she was warm, open and stupidly generous with the pennies that she had. She gave to so many charities that I had to keep returning their letters by the hundreds after she died!

When she was diagnosed as terminal and went into hospital, she still had a smile on her face, and the unbelievably kind staff absolutely adored her. They even queued up to say goodbye to her at the end. 

Rene just made you smile. She used to give bear hugs so tight that you couldn’t breathe! She always made jokes, which is why I have chosen a photo of her with a cardboard toilet bowl on her head. Classic Rene! Writing this has brought back so many memories of her and things we did together. 

I knew I could never disappoint her and that she would always love me for all that I was and all that I had done. It’s not often that you find truly unconditional love such as the love Rene gave me, but I feel so lucky to have experienced it. 

Each day, I wear the three gold rings she left me with pride. They remind me always to “live and let live,” and just be me. 

Thank you, Emma, for sharing your story. If you wish to share your own story, please email emma@loveforourelders.org.